I've nv thought I'll say this but ya. I'm totally fucked up. watever.
The world's fine. It's just me
-xin-
6:21 pm
me: SOS.... SOS... SOS
(no reply)
me: SOS... SOS... SOS
(silence)
me: SOS... SOs... Sos... sos.................................
(End of Story)
-xin-
6:18 pm
---++---
My level of sanity is scaring me. Or rather, I've reached a new height of insanity
-xin-
8:17 pm
---++---
I went shopping with xx yesterday! Damn tiring but was fun! Apparently xx was damn rich and wanted to buy something from almost every shop. Being the encouraging me, of course I told her to buy an item from every shop that we stepped into cause she'll be damn happy. Of course she didn't la but she did spend quite alot yesterday. Rather surprising -.^
Bought a top for $48. Immediately regretted when I got home. Won't wear it often one lor and so bloody expensive. Yesterday was supposed to be feminine day so kept looking at feminine stuff. For me hor, yesterday was just an exception laaaa. How many times have u guys seen me wear heels man. Though I luv my current pair, IT HURTS! PAIN! TONG! IDAI! TIA-! Cannot go shopping in heels, will die. So I'm back to wearing my sneakers again... so comfortable =)Back to the top, xx said it's long term investment. YAR RIGHT. Make up I understand, a top? ARGH. I got song2 yong3!!! OH NO!!!Dammit. Watever. And I can't claim frm my mom cause I don't dare. Yar. K la... officially broke again and I can't blame anyone but myself (Maybe xx too) I ate into my nxt month's allowance too cause I bought some other stuff today.
I feel so sad I wanna cry. Get me a rich guy. Or rich friend. Gone are the days of crystal jade or canteen jap food. Hello $1.10 canteen lunch.
-xin-
10:41 pm
Went for hair cut at Thomson Plaza today. OUCH man! The hairdresser ah... kept pulling my hair like nobody's business. The scissors he used must be blunt lor or else why on earth was it so damn bloody f-cking painful. Told him to be gentle... replied with "orh" then still continue. Stupid guy mumbles too. Was asking me wat kinda hairstyle I prefer and I had to ask him to repeat 3 times before I caught wat he was saying.
Told him I want to layer the back but he gave me the long layer kind. WTH. I'm cutting my hair short, if u give me the long layer, no one can tell it's layered. stupid. And now my hair is damn flat. FLAT leh. OMG. I have a flat head.... argh... plus he didn't give me a proper parting. Next time I shall get a female to help me cut. At least girls are more gentle and have better shen3 mei3 guan1. My beautiful hair is gone. YES. GONE. Though it was messy, at least i didn't have a flat head then.
However, it was my fault too to give him the freedom to cut watever style he thinks is suitable for me. I'm sucha asshole. argh. Never going back there again. Anyone got nice hairdresser to recommend?
How am I going to face the world? Sigh... BAD LUCK. My head is still aching from the haircut. Hope he gets migrain tonight too. HMPH
-xin-
10:24 pm
---++---
Happy birthday to me! and belated to michelle!
Yup. CTs FINALLY over. had physics today. wat a way to spend my birthday. It was TRICKY! Will fail. And I think I will fail all my subs la. sigh. However, shan't think about it for now.
My birthday was spent in the most most normal way. Went sch, mug, dinner with class, END. yup. But i rented 40-yr-old virgin! HAHA. I officially can watch M18 shows. And can go learn to drive! and go clubbing! and (frm wenloong) go to jail -.-" Yes. tt's how my classmates wished me happy birthday.
Thanks to those who sent me birthday wishes. And gd luck to those whose exams have not ended. Gonna watch lotsa dvds/vcds now... hehe!
-xin-
9:25 pm
---++---
| You Are 30% Weird |
Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself. |
| Your Five Factor Personality Profile |
Extroversion:
You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.
Neuroticism:
You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue. |
| You Are 30% Evil |
A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. |
-xin-
9:37 pm
Was bored so was surfing blogs. Realised tt I'm tagged by Lian. Guess half of my friends are like guessing wat kinda guys I go for since I dun exactly go crazy over guys like them... (except for a certain few ^_^) Yupyup... here's ur answer.
Rules: Tagged person must come up with 8 points about their perfect lurver. must include the sex of ur lurver. (hahah!)
sex: Male (I'm not les with man, cathy or yiyou alright... I'm 100% straight!!!)
1. Mature but still has that child in him. I dun wanna go out with a child but neither do I want an old man. Maturity means I can at least talk to him about serious stuff and gets decent opinions. I'll like someone whom I think that I can rely on psychologically rather than physically.
2. Good sense of humour. Preferable witty as well. Can u imagine going out with someone who has a TERRIBLE sense of humour. It's such a horrid scene that I don't even wanna imagine it.
3. Someone whom I can talk to about everything under the sun and not feel embarrassed when I ended up saying something stupid. At least he gotta be someone whom I feel that can let my guard down. (That is like near impossible but this is all about the perfect lover who doesn't exist anyway)
4. Smart. Not academically smart but just quick-thinking.
5. Sensitivity is a quality that is damn important and terribly lacking in guys these days. Gotta be sensitive enough to know what is to be avoided and wat should be brought up. Overly sensitive is a BIG no-no. I dun need a mother hen fussing over me annd definitely not a cry-baby who gets upset over my sarcastic remarks.
6. Musically inclined. Preferably gd at sports too =) I'm totally attracted to guys who can play musical instruments WELL. Have a soft spot for them. I started to like Jay Chou partly cause he looks damn suave playing the piano. I cannot withstand the deadly attraction... Though I'm not exactly attracted to guys in guitar =X They're nice but yar.
7. Caring towards animals and children. I love animals. Children well... most of them except the whiny, bratty ones. It shows the caring side of him.Everyone needs a tender, loving lover yar. If he bullys animals and children, he gotta be some bastard. Then again, I do bully children once in a while but tt's cause I love to play with them k. Oh yar, MUST love dogs =)
8. Gotta be someone who can puts his ego aside and admits that there are people who are better. I.e. Modest. Been around too many egoistic guys. DISGUSTED. Modesty is a virtue. Need to say more?
I shall add more qualities to make it a perfect 10 (hahah... damn greedy)
8.5 (Linked to pt 8). Not someone who will try to impose his ideas on me. I have my own opinions dude. If u want me to agree with ya, u gotta CONVINCE me. On the other hand, I dun want someone who agrees with me on everything. BORING.
9. Gotta agree with Lian on this. Filial. A sign of dedication to the people he loves =)
10. Most importantly, someone whom I can treat and treat me as an equal. Someone whom I'll be able to love whole-heartedly. He gotta loves me for who I am but will point out my flaws to me in a sensitive manner and vice versa. Haiya, I just want someone that who loves me and someone who enables me to love with trust and sincerity.
My perfect lover, where are you? I guess I'll find him in my dreams only =X These are just qualities of the perfect lover anyway. Even if I do find someone with all these qualities, he may not be someone I'll like and I may just end up with someone who has none of them (hope not)
Read this somewhere long ago - My lover has gotta be my best friend as well. Agree! Love is something that comes from within and it's the feeling u get when u hang out with that someone.
People I'm tagging:
1) Mandy
2) xx
3) Shao
Happy doing ppl! I'm particularly interested in Shao's perfect lover =)
Btw, no MCPs (Obvious isn't it)
-xin-
8:07 pm
---++---
Went for dinner @ cafe cartel after gp common test (which sucks big time. I'm screwed AGAIN) Was talking about bitching. Like how bitching about other people is damn mean and how the person involved would feel.
I admit la. I bitch. Like all e time. I always thought that if I admit to my bitchiness, it's not much of a big deal. However, the more I thought of it, the more terrible it seems. It's like I'm actually proud of the fact that I bitch about people. How gross. I'm in this total state of dilemma of deciding whether to bitch or not. I'm not some saint that can accept people's flaw but I dun think I have e courage to say it straight into people's face what I'm unhappy about. I can't keep all those stuff within me but then again, it's WRONG to bitch about people. ArgH. I need to undergo radical change. Maybe I need to sort out my thinking first. Shall use the hol n common test period to sort stuff out. Needa avoid people. Oh. This is so insane.
Happy stuff... I'm totally inspired to work harder for my gp =) cause he remembers my name. I'm over the clouds (did i use it correctly? I remember it's over something something tt's in e sky or is it over the moon? stars?) !! happy!!! I can't sleep tonight. I'm totally smitten...... lalalalala...
I just read the 4th bk of NANA. It's really good!! Those who can read manga, go grab it. (Gals esp) It's damn good. I'm addicted. Can't wait for the next book. Will catch the movie if it ever comes out on VCD/DVD. DEFINITELY.
P.S: I'm trying to make myself not so apathetic but at the same time, I'm having trouble coping with too much emotions. Insanity is setting in.
Random entry. Happy reading!
p.p.s: I don't not like J1s. I just can't bring myself to accept them. Heard even more terrible stuff about what they did during O2. geez
-xin-
10:47 pm
---++---
Today (Friday), between 10 and 11 during my GP lesson, 2 J1 boys (still wearing RI uniform) came into B22 to borrow an OHP from their kind J2 seniors (my class la).Boy 1: Excuse me, may we borrow ur OHP?Teacher: Sure sure.My Classmate, A: The OHP is spoilt.Boy 2: But you have 2 wat!Classmate B: They're both spoilt.Teacher: They're BOTH spoilt?!Classmate A (To boy boys): You can try.Boy 1 went to fumble with the OHP. Teacher: You can try if you want. (weird laughter frm her)Boy boys: Never mind la, never mind la (waving hands in e air)The above conversation is not a true reflection of what was actually said but the idea is there. However, the last statement was EXACTLY what they said (without a word less)OMG la. What kinda attitude is that? FREAKS. Lack of respect TOTALLY. It's like there's actually a teacher in the classroom in case they didn't see her. Assholes. If u wanna borrow stuff from us, u gotta have the right attitude man. Dun be a son of a bitch. Nah. I shan't scold ur mom. U boys (not guys/men) are just pains in e ass.I told u guys tt this yr J1s are such freaks. No respect, rowdy, mean, full of themselves, immature, etc. Oh man, I was rather tempted to shoot them with air pistols from where I was sitting. These guys gotta go learn some manners seriously. I don't really care if they're smart or whatever. Please live up to ur school's motto pls - Hope for a better future. Please be the hope and not make us pray to hope for a better future. Stupid children.Btw, when my classmate told them e OHPs are spoilt, i highly suspected that one of them rolled his eyes. I hope he gets sore eyes from rolling them too much. Hmph. Atrocious behaviour la!!!!! I witnessed this personally! So my conclusion is that they're currently thorns in my flesh. (Their looks don't make up for it either)Argh. I think they uses classroom B21 at their period of time. Shall go find out what class is it. Stupid J1s. The J1s frm guitar are terrible too. Noisy like hell. Can't stop showing off with their guitar skills. I noe they're damn pro but shut the hell up when the conductor's talking. The lack of respect for their snrs is something that I can't be bothered with already. One day I may just grab the guitar of the small guy (yar, the noisy one from guitar 2) and smash it over his head. Yup yup. I'm violent so sue me -.-Digress abit. My GP common test is this coming WED!!! GOSH GOSH GOSH!!! I'm so going to die!!! In addition, I still have school that morning. The school is freak. Sometimes I wish I have a wider range of vocab so that I can scold everything around me with more sophisticated words but currently, I'll just curse with these - XXXXXXXXXXXX To conclude today's entry. J1s have a long way to go before they can step into the society and remain unharm. In addition, I'm gonna DIE for my common test. But I really really REALLY wanna pass physics (cause Mr Lee has been rather nice to me)
-xin-
10:30 pm
---++---
Though I'm in e blogging mood, I forgot wat I wanna blog about. I think it was supposed to be something along the lines of complicated people or rather people being complicated. Or was it finding out more about myself? I'm having short term memory these days. It's like I'm not putting in effort to go remember stuff. OMG OMG OMG. I'm getting senile!!!!! Anyway, back to serious business.
We are all complicated people. I'm rather sick of guessing what others are thinking. We are so fickle! One second this, one second that. Then again, I enjoy observing people and listening out to wat others are say (eavesdropping ^^). Sometimes when we break things down, everything looks easy. However, when we go beyond the surface, we're complicated once again. Feelings beyond happiness, sorrow, anger. Feelings that words cannot describe (maybe due to my poor language).
These days as I think back about how e class has progressed and how ppl have changed (including me, though I often deny it), I start to realise that everyone seems to have a different side in them. (To 2S02B, I'm WATCHING u guys) Better or worse, I wouldn't judge so soon but things have gone beyond my deduction. Shall continue to observe situations before making any conclusion. Some of them are just more than wat they appear to be. Things aren't tt simple anymore yar.
Take ME for example. I'll admit it.
There's evil Yu Xin in me. The one that thinks of all the mean, crazy stuff that I'll do to people whom I deem as evil/jian.
There's also the sarcastic Yu Xin who appears 95% of the time. I admire her the most. She makes my life most interesting (I sound weird. It's like sarcastic Yu Xin aren't me but she is. I'm not making sense) Without tt part in me, my life will be damn boring, it's something tt distinguishes me from my peers =) Though negatively but so far, it's bringing me somewhere. At least I'm sensitive enough to know my limits (most of e time)
Demure Yu Xin is, which I strongly believe, hidden somewhere in me, just tt it's in e centre of a damn complicated maze. I'm 100% sure (confirm, chop chop!) tt I'll find it one day though!
The one I love e most is the quiet side of me. Being able to sit down to read a good book, to think through stuff or even just to stone is considered a luxury to me. Sometimes I feel intelligent when I'm just sitting quietly by myself and think about everyday stuff (stop puking....) It's like I'm a philosophical, sophisticated n mature person. (Ok, puke if u want) I'm glad I'm not hyperactive. Yar, just wanna illustrate e fact that there's many sides to a person. Like a die (I'm learning stats now... can't help it if i'm using a die) 6 different faces, one object. That's human nature =) Forgot to say this, though I'm quiet at times, I can be LOUD too. Like VERY.
Too cheem already. Feel like slping.... continue another day.....
-xin-
10:41 pm
---++---
Here's wat I've learnt in my one year in RJ.Ren2 Xin1 Nan2 Ce4Yup. Congrats to those who have done well in As. Some ppl are just DAMN jian4. Bitch. Bastard.
-xin-
8:21 pm
---++---
