::Wo hen guai!::

Turning into Ice

Been thinking alot lately. Realised dun really have much friends... wondering does that matter? Maybe it doesn't. I may be left with only one friend but as long as she's one whom I can trust completely, then I guess I'll be contented. Was surfing blogs just now... everyone's talking about promos n results. Well, I wouldn't say my papers were screwed because I was already prepared to fail. Everything just turned out to be what I expected. I am upset but I can't cry because people don't expect me to. Then again, I'm not THAT upset neither.

I think I should treat myself better. Study harder, work harder towards my goals. Deep down I know what I want but reality keeps pushing me away from it. So I've decided that maybe I should stop letting myself down like how I always do for the past 17+ years and just work towards what I want regardless of what other people think so that I'll not feel upset like ALL THE TIME or maybe most of the time. I should just stop asking people what they want and start creating that path that I want. I shouldn't think about other people's opinions, I shouldn't always think I'm right and expecting people to behave the way I think they should. Maybe I should be more flexible in judging others. Or maybe I shouldn't even be judging others but rather be more critical of myself instead. Slacking is definitely a no-no from this very second, keep moving cause time never stop for you. I take back all my words regarding taking a break whenever I feel like breaking down. I shall constantly remind myself of what I should be doing and what I'm working towards, making use of every single opportunity that I have and every advantage that I'm given. I mean why am I sitting here complaining about the goddamn education here? I'm just wasting time away. I'm already fated to be born in here so might as make use of it to create my destiny. It's kind of weird how sitting on the toilet bowl can inspire you so much.

I have no idea how long can I sustain this "ultra-diligent" attitude but I will try. I shan't look down on muggers anymore. They are the people whom I look up to. I don't care about people with high IQ cause I know I'll never be like them. I think I've grown up... to become one of them.
-xin-
you sing!

9:38 pm

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