::Wo hen guai!::

The Lost World

I had a weird dream last night.

I dreamt of my primary school days, where we were playing at the giant steps. We sat down, basically it's just me, rs, man, jy and the twins, to talk. Then the conversation ended up about our ambitions. When it was my turn, I turned mute. As in I couldn't talk at all, nothing came out of my mouth. Other classmates came over and everyone had a clear idea of what they going to do in the future but I was just sitting there being the dumb me.

Ok, because I slept for so damn long, had another dream but shan't talk about tt, irrelevant.

I think this is so weird. I guess it's because the future seems too gloomy for me tt I've been thinking about it too much. I dunno wat I wanna study, where I'm going to study. Actually I wanna go Switzerland but apparently I dun really wanna study business which is wat's offered there. I wanna go NUS, cause there's hostel rooms with air conditioning but guess tt's a stupid reason, ppl took it as a joke when I told them this. Studying in Japan sounds cool but I think it's out of the qn. Don't even take Jap. Going to UK is near impossible. No interest in U.S or China. Aussie is a place for HOL! not studies. NZ... hmm... dun wanna end up like eh... we noe.

Haiya, I think my path has been planned out too nicely tt now when it's time to make a decision, I can't. Actually, the chances of getting a scholarship is also like damn slim la. I would think of people in my class, in the school. I feel so inferior. Plus gotta go through those damn interviews which I'm damn lousy at but ppl assumed otherwise. If I dun get a scholarship, I'll definitely have to stay in Singapore to study, which is not a bad thing but now is like the best age to venture out to see the outside world. We're too kept up in this nice, cosy cage of ours tt we often dunno wat's going on outside. Most of our info came from secondary sources which we are unable to judge its credibility.

My grandma tells me tt if I can study in sg, I should just stay cause my parents can't afford to send me overseas. Sad... And I can't possibly earn money to pay for my sch fees cause being just an O-Level cert holder, jobs don't exactly pay enough to let me go overseas.

Haiya, sometimes I dun even think I deserved to go those top stupid, premier schools cause I'm just this lazy pig who laze around all day and only mug when the fire is near. No, I'm not implying I'm smart... I study in the correct manner when time draws near. Argh. watever, I'm trying not to sound arrogant. So conclusion for now is tt, just mug for promos, get promoted then talk abt those nitty gritty stuff later. I wonder how my friends in AJ are doing, sure ok la... they so hardworking. Plus phyllis too. Tt smart, diligent girl.

Actually I should start planning for dec hol already. Yar, maybe tt will motivate me to study harder.
-xin-
you sing!

10:11 am

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